Tugang

Ang bilis ng panahon! At kung gaano ito kabilis, tila mas mabilis pa rin ang paglaki ng mga kapatid ko! Sa 8 taon ko sa Japan plus the 2 years i was away for college before that, marami na akong namiss na mahahalagang parte ng buhay nila. Nagdalaga na't nagbinata ang mga kapatid kong noo'y binibaby-sit ko pa. And everytime tumatawag ako sa bahay, mas lalo kong narerealize na di ko na sila kilala sa antas na gusto ko silang makilala. Kaya kahit man lang sa telepono, nagpapakwento ako to somehow bridge that gap.

Kanina nang tumawag ako sa bahay, di ko na inabutang gising ang mga kapatid ko maliban kay RR. Si RR ang ika-siyam sya sa magkakapatid. Onse anyos na ata sya ngayon. (Di ko kasi tandaan kung kelan sila pinanganak na taon, hehehe!).

Nakakatuwa sya! Kapag nag-uusap kami sa fone, madalas pinagprapractice-san nya ako ng English. Ang kwento naman ni Papa, susunod daw na Manny Pacquiao ang anak nyang ito. Sabi naman ng sunod sa akin na si Mimin, magaling daw na artist si RR. Sabi nya dapat nakita ko yung coconut tree he made using clay as the medium! Sabi rin ni Mimin, kakaiba daw mag-isip si RR. Nagkwekwento si sya na nung mas bata pa raw si RR nang once they asked him what he wanted to be paglaki nya, he answered, "Gusto kong maging janitor." When asked why, he answered, "kasi pagjanitor ka di mo na kailangan mag-isip masyado, gagawa ka na lang." Bata pa marunong ng magrason. Paano na lang kaya paglumaki pa yun! Hehehe!

So back to our fone conversation, bago ako nagpaalam, hiniritan ko si RR na, "Namimiss mo ako?" Sa family namin na taboo yung pagiging expressive, nakakatuwang mag-antay kung ano ang sasagot ng mga sibs ko pagmushy mushy ako. When he answered, "No, meron namang TV eh," di ako nabigla o nagtampo dahil di uso sa amin ang ganun. But then before ko binaba yung fone, he said, "Magkakan ka ning tultol para dai ka magkamakulog (Kain ka ng maayos para di ka magkasakit)." Hehehe! Di ko yun inaasahan. ang galing nyang bumawi! At ang sweet!

Isa pa lang si RR sa siyam na namiss ko ang paglaki. I can't wait to spend an ordinary day with them again. Makipag-away over tv channels, over the coveted living room seats, over our banyo, over housechores, over anything petty yet fun under our roof. hehehe! I even miss getting scolded by Mimin pagnakikipag-away pa rin ako sa mga kapatid ko, for not behaving the way the eldest should. Hahaha!

Meron na ako ngayong isasagot sa kanya, "namimiss ko kasing maging kapatid nyo eh." =)

August 16

Maligayang Kaarawan sa panganay kong kapatid na lalaki!
Happy Birthday Emond!!

Pahiwatig sa Ulan

After a long period of hot, excruciating summer, it is nice to be visited by rain from time to time. After bathing the earth, it leaves it fresh as a baby's breath. Rains are refreshing to the surroundings as they are to the mind and to the heart. I have started writing this poem weeks ago but inspiration left me with a comma. Last night, the heavy rain poured with it words that led to the period in this poem.

*****

Laughter in the Rain

I saw the heavens changing hues
and heard the breeze whispering,
here comes thunder, laughing
almost rolling on its stomach
and lightning, chuckling
against the melancholic night.

Intrigued by the joke floating
among the clouds, I left my shelter
and took vigil outside naked

waiting...

....for the advent of tears
brought by the hilarity
of the secret they share
....for the tears to drown
the earthly worries
caging the laughter in the eyes
....for the warm water
to melt the frozen frown
and uncover the eager smile
....for its sweet kiss to touch
and erase the furrows
on the forehead toiled by Time
....for its gentle fingers
to run through my hair
and sing lullubies to sleep.

I am waiting
for the rain
to let me in.

Parola

There are times when I feel lost even when i haven't been anywhere else except where I am.
There are times when in the heart of a crowd, I feel the loneliest.
There are times when words could only jeopardize the fragile of hearts but silence could cause greater havoc.
There are times when I realize that being weak and being strong is but the intersection of two lines.

These are the times when I lose sight of my light house.

******

Light House

I paddled through the merciless Waves
Solitary in the sea ephemerally in rage
With but the indifferent Stars as my guide
And its cold stare, my cape.

Mocked by the Fog, in my despair was so unkind
She drained the stars and left me blind,
So to my weary but determined Hope, i relied.
Off to the dwindling Ember please, I cried
To the direction of the laconic beacon rendered deaf
By the ominous thunder in the silhouette.

In the oblivion, Breath pleaded for signs religiously
But my query echoed back with enmity
As taunting waves, stupefying my courage,
Corroding my resolve to endure this barrage,
To find my shore, my Faith to revive.
Oh Fate, jest but not with my Heart.

****