Schizophrenic Tendencies

I have a habit of talking to myself. Well, it is more of thinking out loud, actually. I don't know when and why it started. I do it when my thoughts are in chaos and I need to draw out from my head the more important ones. Hearing them out loud makes them somehow tangible. =)

The other night, that was what I was exactly doing. I was telling myself what changes are due for the paper I am writing when my roommate for 8 years suddenly blurted out that it sometimes freaks her out when I do that. Although she often tell me "ang weird mo," what she said surpirsed me. I was not aware until then that my behavior was making her uncomfortable. (Sorry Nina!)

When people tell me I am weird, I actually feel flattered. Well, you see, I have always been drawn to weird people. There is something about them that intrigues me. I find their weirdness uniquely cute. I always find myself wondering how they see the world around them.

There was this teacher in UPLB who used to teach PI100. He was a notorious professor. I often heard upperclassmen complaining about his class which he conducted in pure Filipino. They said one should be thankful if they get a 3. Despite his reputation as a terror, I was looking forward to the semester when I can finally enlist for his class. For me, he was an enigma. He dared to be different when people usually tend to blend with the crowd. His hair style was similar to Einstein's. If you'd see him walking around the campus, you'd notice how straight his back is. You would'nt miss his trade-mark long black umbrella he always carried. He rode a mountainbike to the campus in barong (I never saw him wearing anything else). He exuded an aura of mystery and brilliance that being a part of his class would have been one of the hightlights of my college life. But too bad, I left for Japan too soon.

Those that I find weird are not only extremes, but also those whose weirdness is not obvious. Actually, I find weirdness in almost everyone I meet. Like one of my dormmates in UPLB.

During the dormitory orientation when she was introducing herself, I laughed out loud thinking that everybody would be laughing with me. I thought the other freshmen would also find her pace of speaking, which was Kuya-Cesar-slow, uniquely funny, but they didn't. Instead, they just turned to my way and I saw in their faces then that I was the only one who found her funny. After the meeting, I had to apologize to her. I found out later that she was occupying the room next to ours. We eventually became friends, but I had to restrain myself from laughing while she spoke to me everytime we bumped on each other in the bathroom. And what is funnier, she became an active member of an activist group! May malumanay nang nagrarally. Hahaha!

Anyway, my roommate's comment threw a question I have never entertained before, is talking to oneself a sign of mental/psychological disorder? This question tickled something inside. hehehe! I had to find some answers. So I tried searching in googles, and here is one that I found: http://ri.essortment.com/schizophreniamu_rtpg.htm

I have more than one of the symptoms!Hahaha!!!